Soaring gardens and stimulated creativity

Before going to the artist retreat I had to prepare for a show at a new gallery in town.  The dealer came to the house to see the work.  I dragged out all of my big pieces and lined them up for her thinking she would make her selection but she asked me to put up digital images on my website of all of the pieces.  I groaned silently.  There were over forty large pieces in room and I was leaving town in a day or two. I took a deep breath to put space between me and my thoughts and said,'ok'. I worked late into the night the day before I left but got them all up.  I felt invigorated and excited about the trip and the show.  A slow realization was starting to come over me. 

   I hadn't worked on canvas in years.  After I pulled out my work I began to understand  what cause me to stop working on canvas.  I could see the change and then I remembered.    By now I'm in the everlasting mountains of Pennsylvania meditating every day.  I worked on five works on paper till I couldn't anymore and then I used the Andinkra symbols to create paintings on green crinkled paper.  

  Upon returning I had to take the selected paintings to the gallery.  Now it's time to get ready for the show.  Time is tight. I like to send out several invitations but this show is being quickly organized, so I have to wait for the Gallery's invitation.  All of this arrive two weeks before the opening.  I need to check my distribution lists and pray for strength.  I continue to meditate which helps to keep me calm.  I send out the first invitation via email this is usually a save the date announcement.  Since  it was so late I sent a regular invite.  I mailed the post card to my collectors also.  Meanwhile the dealer has hung the show and asked that I come and take a look at it.  I walked through the double doors and broke into a smile holly shit I say, I forget how good I am.  The show was wonderful, beautifully hung, which is an art in itself.  Looking at it I understood.  When I create my art I use a form, the challenge was to create something from this form,  I didn't realized it but all art is created from a form.  Sometimes we know it sometimes we don't.  I'm just realizing this myself.  Five or six years ago since I consider that I am a colorist I just thought it was all about the color. But now I see that I also need a form.  I used keyholes in the beginning and made some good paintings. At some point the ideas stop coming or I was just bored with what I was doing, who knows?  So genus that I am I decided to forget about form and just make marks on the canvas and go from there.  I created some decent paintings but some duds also.  These I saw when I dragged the art out for the dealer.  

As I sat in the everlasting mountains I wondered about my avocation whether I should continue, it's hard being a artist. I am extremely thankful that I don't have to support myself with my creations.  It's tough out there for an artist to make a living, It's a continous struggle.  Some are successful but most are not.  For those of us who are not dependent on our art for a living the question becomes what do we do with all this art.  We do not want our life's work put on the sidewalk after we are gone.  

  After meditating at the retreat I was very open, after seeing my work in the gallery and doing an inventory of some one hundred and eighty nine paintings.  I understood why I was not working on canvas, I had loss my way.